Drunken Post #2: Family

I have a son…he doesn’t like me, and technically he isn’t my son, but I view him as one. He tells me I’m 29 years late, but I can’t help but feel bad for him. I don’t have a family of my own. I mean I could start one, no one says I can’t…

Linda’s giving me a strange look. I’m talking out loud…but I don’t like it. I don’t like the look…she’s giving “That” look. You know the one that says, “There’s a bed over there we can get started”…but NO…I don’t want Linda’s spawn. I will have nothing to do with her procreating…

I’d drown the little bastards.

But why have children, when I can have all the benefits and despairs of having an estranged son and all without having to change a diaper, or deal with those angsty, nasty teenaged years…in fact he still acts like an angsty teenager. I mean he thinks fate is out to destroy him…maybe it is…who knows. All I know is he doesn’t want my help, he claims I don’t understand, and that I’m not his father. Well that last one is true. But I love him. He should never know that, of course. That I view him as a son, and I value his opinion. And about shooting him…

It was for his own good. All…I think it was 4 hits? It builds character…and well…he didn’t run. I didn’t enjoy it.

…Maybe…

Alright it was fucking ball. Little bastard had it coming, he’s so annoying, and prissy, and…that glare…and his sarcastic, smart ass mouth…

Can you see why I’m proud of him? He never needed my help, I admit…but I wasn’t there…I wish I had been…Maybe things would be better…

I’m here now though…

Why can’t he see how important I am?!